115 Days Later

115 Days.

That's how long it has been since lockdown measures started to contain the spread of coronavirus in this country I call home. While many parts of the world try to return to some sense of normalcy, I remain indoors as much as possible, wear a mask when I do venture out, and have to use Google Meets to socialize with my friends. In fact, international flights have been cancelled until at least September 1, so I will not be able to come home for the summer holiday.

Now don't get me wrong; lockdown hasn't been all that bad here. I am reading so much more than I typically would and I am dedicating my summer vacation to preparing for the next school year. The reality is that we will still do virtual learning in the fall, so I want to make sure my rigor and creativity in teaching is not compromised because class is run a little differently.

The truth is, I am not concerned about my situation in Colombia. Sure, other places around the world are re-opening more steadily than here, but if the pay-off is that fewer people get sick, infect others, or die then that's something I can live with. My concern rather lies in my other home, the United States.

You see, my family and friends are still there, and they have a lot of good things going for them. Virginia is doing relatively well in terms of cases and hospitalizations, and most of them are able to live a socially distant life without problems. However, they can only protect themselves but so much. I watch and read US news daily and see that numbers are rising and rising and rising. Some of this is to be expected: there's no vaccine and not everyone can be protected 100% of the time. However, I see a lot of sheer stupidity making me nervous that the people I love at home, some of whom are vulnerable to serious illness, are going to pay for someone else's poor decisions.

Ultimately, decisions are playing into the reality that the US is facing right now. Decisions by people in high places with fancy titles or positions of power. Decisions by someone to make a selfish decision and go to a bar without a mask. Decisions by someone to choose ignorance over science. All of these decisions are not limited to just the person making them. They ripple and touch other people, potentially infecting them.

We celebrated July 4th just a few days ago, and for the first time in my life I found it difficult to celebrate. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am in a different country or chose to eat curry for dinner instead of a burger. It has everything to do with the fact that I am terrified that the country and people I am meant to celebrate may hurt the people I love.

The country I used to have such a strong sense of pride for is not fairing well in the world's eyes right now, and the virus is just the tip of the iceberg in reasons why. Just last week, I saw racist symbols taken down in my home city, one of which was an obstacle I literally had to avoid every day while driving home from work. While I was so happy to see that symbol come down, it was met with other news stories of American defacing memorials to abolitionists and murals celebrating the Black Lives Matter movement. Decisions to fight eye for an eye. But how much does that matter if your vision is obstructed by ignorance and pettiness.

My intent when I started writing this post was to provide an update. (I'm fine btw. New apartment with an amazing view. Learned how to cook for once in my life. Still no dog, though.) Clearly, I got away from that point and went political. But I hope whoever is reading hears how frustrated, disappointed, and scared I am. The people I love most are at risk of contracting and/or falling seriously ill to this virus. The every day decisions you make could either make that fear subside because you're wearing a mask and generally considering the well-being of others before your selfish desires or they could make my fears credible and actualized.

Something I have been talking about recently to friends, family, and my Colombian neighbors is the concept of individualism and collectivism. The idea is that in an individualist society the emphasis and major point of focus is on the individual and their ability to be self-sufficient and independent. The US represents this concept, and the American Dream is the embodiment of this. On the other hand, you have a collectivist society in which the community gives priority to itself as a whole rather than one individual. Decisions are made to intentionally be what is best for everyone, not just one person. Colombia, in my experience, sits somewhere in the middle.

Democratic, American Dream-type ideals definitely resonate with citizens here, but many households will have multiple generations inside. So when faced with a pandemic, people will of course be salty about losing liberties, but they also know that they must provide for and protect their parents and grandparents who live in the house. That's why you see people breaking the rules to meet for a chit chat in the dog park but they're all wearing masks and standing far apart while they do it.

What I would love is for my country to understand that balance a little more. It's hard to say what I would be doing if I were still living there right now, and it's very easy to cast judgment from afar. However, I would like to think that this balance is easy to achieve. Dinner parties on Google Meets are the new norm for my friend group, and to be honest I kind of like it better. I get to eat and drink in my own home in my sweatpants and the bill is a lot less expensive. Ain't no need to go to a bar or nightclub.

So if there's anything to take away from this post, and I understand people may have given up awhile ago, I guess I just want to express a desire to be better, kinder, and smarter. And I'm not off the hook; the same concept applies to me. It should apply to everyone in fact because we can all benefit from being at least 1% better at each of those things every day (shout-out to my old colleague Kelly Pace). If you did make it to the end of this post, thank you. I appreciate you and the every day decisions you make to be better, kinder, and smarter,  decisions for yourself and others.